did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
oh god was she eating orange peels again
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
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