You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
Someone called asking about the gate code and I said "hashtag" for # instead of "pound." Ugh. I feel so dirty.
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
Randomize
