im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
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