I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
