I can tuck mytits in my pants
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
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