Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
Randomize
