I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize
