i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
Randomize
