I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
Cracked my iPhone screen. Real bad. Girl from last night isn't ugly yet. Stop me if you still think she belongs under a bridge. You have 12 seconds.
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
Randomize
