I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
Congratulations! We have a period
Randomize
