We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
Remember that night I drank a bunch of vodka, pounded your Jameson because 'you were a pussy', punched you in the face and ran off as fast as my high heels could go? It was just my Russian and Irish sides fighting for genetic dominance
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
Enjoy the penises
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
Randomize
