I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
Randomize
