I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
Randomize
