Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
Hungover/still slightly drunk at work. Opened a bag of cheese with a box cutter. Pretty sure I need stitches.
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
Jelly. This is your "are you still alive" text. Any response will do.
Hey I found a cat!
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
Randomize
