dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
Let's paint friendship bongs
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
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