Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
I left you a really long drunk voicemail and I remember something about a bat
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
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