a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
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