Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
Dear Mark, please dispose of your crusty mcdonalds napkins used to jerk it at my desk
discrete masterbation is a lost art
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
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