Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
Randomize
