Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
They can be so fun, drunk bruises are like clues to the treasure of what actually happened last night. "why do I have a bruise on my belly button? oh right. i was trying to turn my stomach off so I would stop throwing up."
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
Randomize
