check it out our google latitudes are spooning
Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
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