someone is gonna have my baby tonight. they just dont know it yet
I'll alert the authorities
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
My night has consisted of googling cat penises and creating a Tinder profile.
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
Randomize
