I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
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