I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
Randomize
