This girl is more easily done than said...
There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
I pour the whiskey from now on
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
Randomize
