How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
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