Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Randomize
