I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
well, you know. whores of a feather.
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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