when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
Randomize
