Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
Randomize
