Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
i woke up and my collection of plastic neon wayfarers were half-melted in the microwave. my drunk self hates my hipster self
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
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