Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
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