after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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