just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
Randomize
