I am full of burrito and curiosity
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Randomize
