So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
Randomize
