she looked like the bat from fern gully.
I saw two morbidly obese women get winded after fighting over the last motorized wheelchair at Walmart
These are the moments in life you observe a force greater than us at work
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
Randomize
