the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
Just got a message from a guy on a dating site who says he helped me remove lime pulp from my eye in a club toilet 2 weeks ago.
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
Randomize
