this beer tastes like vomit already
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
Randomize
