So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Randomize
