he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
Randomize
