Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
Randomize
