Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
She came home wasted 'not wantin to talk about it' so for revenge I woke her up with a dutch oven and she puked all over me and the bed. I can't win.
Dude I told you 22 year olds shouldn't get married
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
Randomize
