yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
Randomize
