Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
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