...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
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