Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
Randomize
