So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
OPIZZABONMYDICK
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
So apparently after I spilled candle wax down the front of my pants, I went to the store, bought condoms, and passed them out to everyone at the bar.
I thought they were lying to me about the condoms, until I found the receipt in my pocket.
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
Randomize
