Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
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