no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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