It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
Randomize
