Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
Randomize
