There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
Fav 3 1048 608 share tweet
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
Side note: I apologize for sex being the subject of every single one of my texts. That's what happens when you date an older man who constantly denies you sex on the basis of his ridiculous morals.
Randomize
