I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
Santa Claus winked at me two tables over at the Chinese place tonight I was almost afraid he knew "getting laid" was my Christmas wish
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
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