im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
