Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
rough night. sneezed a watermelon seed this morning and apparently I drunk dialed my boss for a ride home. twice.
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
Watching her eat just hurts me
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
Randomize