i would punch a child for taco bell
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
Randomize
