i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
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