Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
Swine flu is the new snow day.
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
well, you know. whores of a feather.
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
