WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
We named our party play list daddy issues
i used baking grease as lip gloss
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize
