What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
Randomize
