Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
Def don't remember taking those pics I sent you...but it looks like I was in a car? Shit. Looks like my Uber passenger rating just went up exponentially.
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
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